I don’t try to understand the motivations of other men. We
do things, and most of time we really don’t know why, because we want
something, or we don’t want it – whatever. We spend our whole lives chasing
something; a career, house, car, money, women… some other thing… never really
thinking about when and how much will finally be enough. Never really knowing
why we’re chasing it, except for some dream, some thought that it’ll make us
happy. That it will make us better somehow - fulfilled.
Because, after all, we’re just monkeys; monkeys smart enough
to reason. We’re evolved apes that can rationalize our instincts away. We can
justify what we do and why we do it. Sometimes that makes it right in our
heads, sometimes it doesn’t. But it’s all just instinct – no decisions. We do
what we’ve been genetically programmed to do. We follow the script. I want it,
I do it, I rationalize it either way. And sometimes we call it morality. Other
times, we did because we just had to... We’re chasing a ghost called
fulfillment, and the only road map is a million years of evolution and the tiny,
painful lessons we learn in life.
When we all start, we’ll all new and fresh. We have it
together. We’re going to have an amazing life. But we make mistakes, we get
beat up, we lose our selves. And all that’s left is our instinct – our
decisions. The story we write every day, with every word and every turn and
every reaction to an instinct that we think is a decision. We’re lost and we
don’t even know it. We’re so arrogant, we think we’re better than the rest of
life. But the truth is, we’re no better or worse – we just are.
